So the appraisal happened .. some good things were raised some bad things were raised, I got emotional about one of the big probs at work but saw a side of my team leader that was good and maybe needed to happen for people to realise how bad things have got. Whether any good comes of this I'm still rather skeptical. With the current mood I'm in I debating whether I want to even be in engineering anymore. It seems I'm meant to mind read everyone or else they're being critical of everything I do. Hence I think I'm a cr*p engineer hence I'm having doubts about my abilities and therefore whether I'm cut out to be an engineer. Is it too much to ask for a bit of support and advice? I guess I've got to decide what I want the future to hold ... but I really don't want that to mean I walk out on engineering as my love of it gets me animated but I enter my workplace and it feels that I'm not allowed to show or feed that love.
So I'm going to get my head down and just get the work done in Highways and but have the side vent of my team leader if things aren't becoming positive in fav person's view of me despite my actions (some of which have been noted with team leader but not acknowledged by fav person at all).

I'm still debating over the cv due to the fact I feel I'm not a good engineer and I'd be better off out of the profession due to the way I feel at the mo. But I don't know what I would do (or to that matter what I want to do) if I wasn't an engineer.

Let's hope things improve and I become more positive in myself and my abilities ..... although I think its a uphill struggle ... so Dr T will prob have to put up with a bit more sh*t from my direction although I really wish it wasn't the case, I just want to be my happy laughing self again who doesn't need cheering up all the time (or to escape to be happy).

At least on a more positive note Dr T is down for the weekend and I'm really looking forward to what looks to be a really enjoyable weekend.